Won The Coffee!!! - Joke Competition Winners

Coffee Winner!
Imtiaz
Joke Alsatian
(Coffee Sponsor: Mr. Diwant Vaidya)

Runners Up!
Sarada - Chinese v Spielberg
Parvez - Marketing Lessons at a Party.
(Coffee Sponsors: Java Team)

Joke From Imtiaz:

An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote,
"Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof."

The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog:
"There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price."

"But," the dog replied, "that would make no sense at all."

Joke from Sarada:

A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.

As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here."

The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese".

"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."

Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."

The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."


Joke from Parvez:

A Professor at one of the IIM's (INDIA) was explaining marketing
concepts to the Students:-

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. Marry him." - That's Advertising

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." - That's Telemarketing

4. You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:" By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" - That's Public Relations

5. You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: "You are very rich! Can you marry Me!?" - That's Brand Recognition

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - That's Customer Feedback

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - That's demand and supply gap

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tells her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" And she goes with him - That's competition eating into your market share

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - That's restriction for entering new markets



- Diwant Viadya