Daily Dose 31-12-2008

“Sometimes in life, situations develop that only the half-crazy can get out of.”
-- Francois, duc de La Rochefoucauld

I Know What You Do After Lunch Break

Click on Image To View Animation

~*~

Seasons Events on 31st December 2008

Hi All!

You are invited to Seasons' Events to be held on 31st December at Kensium. Our regular events of 1st Saturday (3rd January) has been preponed to 31st December. We'll have all those games on last day of the year 2008.

Date: 31st December 2008
Time: 1 PM Onwards
Venue: Kensium

-: Events :-

i) One Minute Games

Various "One Minute Games" have been planned, in which a group of 4 people will compete with each other an win the game. Games will be announced spontaneously on the floor. No prior practice :)


ii) Tambola

Exciting game for you once again. Rules, Prizes, Fun, Masti...every thing same!

iii) Birthday Celebrations of December Birthday Buddies

iv) Welcome To New Year 2009

v) "Gift Swap" Gifts Presentation

Meet you people on the floor for the events of the season!

~ * ~~ * ~~ * ~

Daily Dose 30-12-2008

"An expert is a man who has stopped thinking - he knows."
-- Frank Lloyd

Me & My Boss

When I take a long time, I am slow.
When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.

When I don't do it, I am lazy.
When my boss doesn't do it, he is too busy.

When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart.
When my boss does the same, that is initiative.

When I please my boss, I am ass-kissing.
When my boss pleases his boss, he is co-operating.

When I do good, my boss never remembers.
When I do wrong, he never forgets.

When I make a mistake, I am an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When I am out of the office, I am wandering around.
When my boss is out of the office, he's on business.

From:
Mohammadiz

Daily Dose 29-12-2008

“I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught.“

-- Winston Churchill

Stretch A Helping Hand

Stretch a Helping Hand To The Helpless At The Right Time

Why clutter your house with the things you do not use any more because

• Your tastes have changed


• You have grown over your favorite brands


• Find no time to sort them out


• You yet have to locate the more deserving/the needier

Let us create some space for you this New Year.

Have you thought of donating the clothes/blankets/winter ware that is more an impediment to you than an inspiration, this winter?

Books should be, like money, must always be in circulation. Why let the vermin and dust take toll of them? Let us spread the light of knowledge this New Year.

Please drop your Unused Clothes/Blanket/Books in our office collection point this Monday the 29th December 2008 - Till 12 Noon!.

There's a Great way of making use of our useless Clothes /Blanket/Books.

Share A Service

Global e-NGO Initiative...

Visit Website

Daily Dose 27-12-2008

Anyway
- People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Love them anyway!
- If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Do good anyway!
- If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway!
- The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway!
- Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway!
- The biggest people with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest people with the smallest minds. Think big anyway!
- People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for some underdogs anyway!
- What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway!
- People really need help but may attack you if you help them. Help people anyway!
- Give the world the best you have and you will get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway!”
-- Unknown

Don't Mess With Me....Miyaavvvvvv

Checkmate

From:
Mohammadiz

Hey, Someone Plz Call The Police...

From:
Mohammadiz

Jokes

Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: Punjab.
Boss: Which part?
Sardar: Kya which part? Whole body born in Punjab.

**********

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

**********

A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein.
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.

Daily Dose 26-12-2008

"There's no limit to what a man can do or where he can go if he doesn't mind who gets the credit."
-- Ronald Reagan

Happy Birthday Shashikala

Shashikala

On
25th December

From:
Team Kensium

Greetings!

A Merry Christmas to All of You and Your Families!
-- Parvez

Let Everyday Be Christmas

From:
Rakesh. M

Happy Christmas

Play in bigger view

Wish You Merry Christmas!

Click Here To View E-Card

From:
Imtiaz

Daily Dose 24-12-2008

"Good judgment comes from experience; experience comes from bad judgment."
-- Mark Twain

Meet Mr. Al

Lol...Watermelon Art!!!

Watermelon Flowers


From:
Mohammadiz

Banana...Banana..Bananas

From:
Mohammadiz

Engineers Vs Doctors

There are 7 Engineers and 7 Doctors going from PUNE to Mumbai.
So they all gather at Pune Station. Both groups are desperately trying to prove
their superiority.

Scene 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI)

So 7 engineers take only 1 Ticket amongst them and 7 doctors buy all 7
tickets. Doctors are desperately waiting for TC to come...... When TC
arrives , All 7 Engineers get in one toilet SO when TC knocks , one hand
come out with the ticket and the TC goes away....

NOW on return Journey All of them don't get a direct train to PUNE So
they all decide to take a Passenger till Lonavala, from there they Can
easily get a LOCAL to PUNE so the passenger.....

SCENE 2 (MUMBAI - LONAVALA)

Doctors decide, "this time we will prove that we too are equally
SHAANE"....All 7 Doctors take 1 Ticket amongst them Engineers don't buy
any ticket at all!!!!!
..TC arrives....
ALL DOCTORS IN ONE TOILET.ALL ENGINEERS IN THE OPPOSITE ONE..
One engineer gets out and knocks the door of Doctors toilet,
One hand comes with the tickets, he takes the ticket
and comes in engg Bathroom...TC DRIVES out ALL the doctors from the
toilet and they are heavily fined........the local....

SCENE 3 (LONAVALA - PUNE)

SO now both the group on LONAVALA station. Doctors planning their Move
for last chance.. they board the local to Pune. This time doctors decide
that they will play the same (1 ticket) trick. ALL Doctors take
1 tickets...Engineers BUY all 7 tickets this time... SO TC Comes.. All
Engineers show their tickets..... Doctors are still searching for toilet
in the LOCAL...........

Joke From:
Ramya Iyer
* * *

Daily Dose 23-12-2008

"Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell them,
'Certainly I can!' Then get busy and find out how to do it."
-- Theodore Roosevelt

Gift Swap Event at Kensium

Hi All....

One more event for you on the occasion of "Christmas" and "New Year"

"Gift Swap"

There are chits under Christmas Tree. Each chit has one Kensium employee name.

Please pick one chit from Christmas Tree....

You have to buy a "Gift" for that person.

Note:

"To Name"
...write it on the gift wrap.

"From Name"
...write it on a slip and keep it inside of the gift box.

Please put your gift at Christmas Tree on or before 27th December (Saturday).

On 31st December...you'll pick-up your gift from same Christmas Tree. (Gift from one of your beloved Kensium Teammate) .

Tol Mol Ke Bol - Winners!!!

1. Ghouse Alam
2. P. Madhuri
3. Ramya Iyer
4. Padmalatha
5. A. Surendra
6. M. Rakesh
7. Mohammadiz
8. Muralidhar
9. Afzal
10. Anuradha
11. Jyothi Prasad
12. D. Sunil
13. Kathyayani

Daily Dose 20-12-2008

Always think in terms of what the other person wants. You can get anything you want in life, if you help other people get what they want.
-- Unknown

Which Comes First ?

From: Mohammadiz

Visual Joke

From:

Mohammadiz

Visual Joke II

From: Mohammadiz

Event of the Week - Tol Mol Ke Bol

Hi All!

You are invited to another fun event of Team Kensium to be held tomorrow (Saturday). Event is "Tol Mol Ke Bol" (i.e., Price Guessing Game) and this is the 2nd event of the "Fun N Learn" series. As you already know from the 1st event we had on 6 Dec, there will be a lot fun and there are lots of items to be won!

Tol Mol Ke Bol

This game is about guessing the price of an item that will be shown to you. The person guessing the correct or closest price is the winner! To ensure that everybody has a good chance of winning, groups of 3 people will be formed by draw of lots and the guessing game will be played by each group of 3 people.

Each of the 3 players has to guess a different price. Everybody else can freely suggest prices to help / confuse the players ;-)

Rules will be explained before the event starts.

Venue: Kensium
Date: 20th December 2008 - Saturday
Time: 12pm Onwards

Looking forward to having a great time with all of you tomorrow.

Essence of Trust

A little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.

The father was kind of scared. So he asked his little daughter,
"Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river."

The little girl said, "No, Dad. You hold my hand."

"What's the difference?" Asked the puzzled father.

"There's a big difference," replied the little girl. "If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go."

In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond. So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather than expecting them to hold urs...

This story is too short..........but carries a lot of feelings.........its the best thing.

--
From
Sarada

http://traditional-india.blogspot.com/
http://endless-india.blogspot.com/

Daily Dose 19-12-2008

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by
the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do...
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover.

-- Mark Twain

***************

On this day of your life, I believe God wants you to know...
...that life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

You won't find glory at the center of safety, but at its
edge. You won't find love at a place where you are
covered, but in the space where you are naked.

You gotta take some risks. You have to not only pick
up the dice, but roll 'em. So go ahead, take the gamble.
You have nothing to lose except the chance to win.

Life is not long enough to spend it on the sidelines. And
you will not have to think but a second to know exactly
why you received this message today.
-- Neale

Daily Dose 18-12-2008

"An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile,
hoping it will eat him last."

-- Winston Churchill

Our Heritage

After coming to Hyderabad I realized how I, as a Mumbaikar, am more aware of British culture, architecture and heritage (the English language, the railway system, the buildings in South Mumbai) than the much more vast and ancient Indian culture, heritage, and architecture!

Here in Hyderabad, as in many parts of India, most of our heritage has and is being encroached upon by squatters (including by thoughtless sarkari offices) or just falling into ruin. It's mind boggling how we don't appreciate and preserve our own heritage.

A few weeks back the Maharani of Jodhpur visited Hyderabad and was shocked at how most of the heritage of the royalty of the former Hyderabad state had fallen into ruin with the neglect at the hands of the Govt./ASI. Apparently, she wanted to take over at least one of the ruined former palaces (King Kothi) to be able to restore it.

However there is some hope. People are becoming more aware and some of the buildings are gradually being restored. I recently visited one of the palace complexes of the former royalty (Nizams) called "Chow Mahalla" parts of which have been restored and some of the artifacts, historical information and photos put up in exhibition rooms. It gives a fascinating insight to a bygone era of our history and culture. I was struck by how different life is now. But, I was struck even more by how much of our past culture, thinking and way of life we still carry in ourselves (even though the buildings are falling into ruin) because, at the core, we still are the same people with much of the changes being superficial. Our culture (sanskar or tehzeeb, whatever you might call it) is much stronger than we might think!

I was amazed by how many heritage structures (palaces, forts, mosques, temples, tombs, parks, etc.) this place has. Some of this is preserved in the form of hospitals, schools, colleges, museums and through other initiatives by the royal families and other private parties.

I had been to Aurangabad about 2 years back and I was heartened by how there is a concerted and careful initiative by the govt. (supported by other parties) to systematically restore and preserve that vital heritage site of our country. Aurangabad, and the surrounding area, has some of our most ancient and amazing (UNESCO designated) heritage sites such as:

The Ajanta Caves comprising ancient Buddhist, Jain, & Hindu caves depicting the life and culture of those times through paintings and sculptures. These are located in an isolated horseshoe shaped ravine and the place is magical. I did not feel like leaving the place and still get goose-bumps thinking about it!

The Ellora Caves comprising ancient Buddhist, Jain, & Hindu caves depicting the life and culture of those times through sculptures.

The impregnable Daulatabad Fort (Devagiri in ancient times) which was never conquered by any enemy.

The "Bibi Ka Maqbara" (the Taj of the South) which Mughal Emperor Aurangzeb's son built in memory of his Mother.

The ancient Aurangabad caves comprising 10 neglected caves on the outskirts of and overlooking the city.

The tomb of Emperor Aurangzeb. What strikes one about this tomb is it's simplicity! It's just a mud grave with a marble jaali around it, which was added by the British because they felt it was too simple and unassuming for an Emperor!

Just being in such places and imagining what kind of life our ancestors must have led transports me into a different world and gives me a different perspective on the life we lead now. Sometimes, I wish I was born in more ancient times, life was simpler then!

One way in which we are definitely different from our ancestors is the extent to which we are dependent on things, conveniences and technologies!

-- Parvez Kudrolli

Daily Dose 17-12-2008

"After all is said and done, more is said than done."

-- Unknown

Diwant...Thanks for this quote!
I have to say, this quote applies very much to me!

Daily Dose 16-12-2008

"Your forgiveness should be such that the person who is being forgiven does not even know that you are forgiving them. They don't even feel guilty of a mistake. That is the right type of forgiveness."

-- Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

Daily Dose 15-12-2008

It's not that "today is the first day of the rest of my life",
but that now is all there is of my life.
-- Hugh Prather

* * *

On this day of your life, I believe God wants you to know...
.....that enthusiasm means everything. Not just a little…
Everything.

If you are involved in some kind of project right now,
or launching any personal endeavor, your enthusiasm
(or lack of it) will directly determine how successful
this undertaking will be.

If you are not excited at the core of your being by it,
drop it right now. If you are excited at the core of'
your being, demonstrate that in everything you think
and say and do.

You will not have to think but a second to know
exactly why you received this message today.

-- Neale

Life is Wonderful - It's All About Correcting Mistakes!!!

Priya married Hitesh this day. At the end of the wedding party, Priya's mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook.
With Rs.1000 deposit amount.

Mother: 'Priya, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life. When there's something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in. Write down what it's about next to the line. The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in. I've done the first one for you today. Do the others with Hitesh.When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you've had.'

Priya shared this with Hitesh when getting home. They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made.

This was what they did after certain time:
- 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Hitesh after marriage
- 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Priya
- 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali
- 15 Apr: Rs.2000, Priya got pregnant
- 1 Jun: Rs.1000, Hitesh got promoted
...... and so on...

However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things.They didn't talk much. They regretted that they had married the most nasty people in the world.... no more love...Kind of typical nowadays, huh?

One day Priya talked to her Mother:
'Mom, we can't stand it anymore. We agree to divorce. I can't imagine how I decided to marry this guy!!!'

Mother: 'Sure, girl, that's no big deal. Just do whatever you want if you really can't stand it. But before that, do one thing first. Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day? Take out all money and spend it first. You shouldn't keep any record of such a poor marriage.'

Priya thought it was true. So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account. While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record. She looked,and looked, and looked. Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind. Her eyes were then filled with tears. She left and went home. When she was home, she handed the passbook to Hitesh, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce.

The next day, Hitesh gave the passbook back to Priya. She found a new deposit of Rs.5000.
And a line next to the record:
'This is the day I notice how much I've loved you thru out all these years. How much happiness you've brought me.'

They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe.
Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired?
I did not ask.I believe the money did not matter any more after they had gone thru all the good years in their life.

"When you fall, in any way,
Don't see the place where you fell,
Instead see the place from where you slipped.
Life is all about correcting mistakes."


Sent by Shashikala A

Won The Coffee!!! - Joke Competition Winners

Coffee Winner!
Imtiaz
Joke Alsatian
(Coffee Sponsor: Mr. Diwant Vaidya)

Runners Up!
Sarada - Chinese v Spielberg
Parvez - Marketing Lessons at a Party.
(Coffee Sponsors: Java Team)

Joke From Imtiaz:

An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote,
"Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof."

The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog:
"There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price."

"But," the dog replied, "that would make no sense at all."

Joke from Sarada:

A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.

As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here."

The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese".

"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."

Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."

The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."


Joke from Parvez:

A Professor at one of the IIM's (INDIA) was explaining marketing
concepts to the Students:-

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing

2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. Marry him." - That's Advertising

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." - That's Telemarketing

4. You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car) for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say:" By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" - That's Public Relations

5. You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: "You are very rich! Can you marry Me!?" - That's Brand Recognition

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - That's Customer Feedback

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. - That's demand and supply gap

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tells her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" And she goes with him - That's competition eating into your market share

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - That's restriction for entering new markets



- Diwant Viadya

Quality Engineer

A Quality Engineer married an average girl.

After 2 years of tough life with her,
finally Engineer got angry and sent a note to father-in-law stating that

"YOUR PRODUCT NOT MEETING MY REQUIREMENTS"

The Smart father-in-law replies,

"WARRANTY EXPIRED. MANUFACTURER NOT RESPONSIBLE"


- Joke from Madhusudhan R

Daily Dose 12-12-2008

"Stop being humble, you are not that great."

-- Golda Meir, Former Israeli PM

Why Teachers are So Stressed

See the attached images.

Bar Stool Economics - Our Tax System Explained

Our Tax System Explained:

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do.

The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. 'Since you are all such good customers,' he said, 'I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20.' Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free.

But what about the other six men - the paying customers?
How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?'

They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.

So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so:
The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

'I only got a dollar out of the $20,'declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man,' but he got $10!'

'Yeah, that's right,' exclaimed the fifth man. 'I only saved a dollar, too.

It's unfair that he got ten times more than I got' 'That's true!!' shouted the seventh man. 'Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!'

'Wait a minute,' yelled the first four men in unison. 'We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!'

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

For those who understand, no explanation is needed.
For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.

David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
Professor of Economics
University of Georgia

From: Mohammadiz

Daily Dose 11-12-2008

"When one is frightened of the truth...then it is never the whole truth that one has an inkling of."
-- Ludwig Wittgenstein, Austrian Philosopher

~ * ~

On this day of your life, I believe God wants you to know....
that the acknowledgment of your weakness is the first
step in repairing your loss.

Thomas Kempis said that, and he was right.
Sometimes this is the hardest thing for people to do.
Yet self-truth and truth with others about where you have fallen short
almost ensures that you will go a long way.
Everyone can see you anyway, why not admit what everyone is seeing?

You cannot let go of anything if you cannot notice that you are holding it.
Admit your 'weaknesses' and watch them morph into your greatest strengths.

You will not have to think but a second to know exactly why you received this message today.

-- Neale

Suggest Name for Team Kensium - Win A Fabulous Prize!

Hi Team Kensium...

I hope...you enjoyed the Fun Event conducted on 6th December.

Now it's a turn to suggest a name and caption for Team Kensium. Please suggest suitable name & caption (catchy punch lines)…the name and caption should reflect the spirit and unity of Team Kensium.

Best Title & Caption Wins A Fabulous Prize!!!

Competition End Date: 30-12-2008.

Post your entries using the comment form!

Format:
Title
Caption
--Sender's Full Name, (Team)

Current Entries:
K-Balance
Striving for Personal & Professional Life Balance.
- Imtiaz M. A. (Internet Marketing)

---

IKYA
Redefining Work Culture!

IKYA means ..."unity" or "united"

IKYA
Redefining Work Culture!
- Kalyan J (Infrastructure Support Department)

---Masti Karo, Seriously!

funki
Masti Karo, Seriously!
- Parvez Kudrolli (Intellectual Property Dept.)

--

POTENTIAL OUTS
Balance Between Work and Masati!
- Ajit D (IT Sales Dept)
---

Joke Competition - Win a Coffee!!!

I love jokes and I will buy you a coffee if you give me the best joke of all. See, my problem is that I don't have many good jokes, especially nice ones I can remember in conversation. So I am holding a competition.

Rules of the competition:
Submit a joke as a comment below. One joke per person so make sure to put your best joke. I will only count the most recent entry per person. Post the comment using your Kensium email id. On Friday I will read the jokes (so submit deadline is Friday 0:00:00:01, which is one second after Thursday midnight). Whichever joke I like the best will get a free coffee for the author.

Deadline:
Friday 0:00, 0 min, 1 sec (1 second into Friday, aka 1 second after Thursday night midnight)

How to submit:
As a comment for this blog entry.

Limit:
1 joke -- I will count the most recently submitted one for your Kensium email id.


Concept by Diwant

Daily Dose 10-12-2008

"The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes."

-- Marcel Proust, French Novelist of the early 20th Century

Miniature Earth

A lovely new video that teaches an valuable old lesson.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drSDhlnm0e0

The Giraffe Test

The Java team is again up to some mischief. We have been asking people to take a simple test of your logic. So if you are up for the challenge and have five minutes to spare, read on.

Q1: How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?
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A: Open the the door, put in the giraffe, close the door
E: This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

Q2: How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?
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A: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.
E: This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

Q3: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which animal does not attend?
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A: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there!
E: This tests your memory.

Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

Q4: There is a river you must cross but it is usedby crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?
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A: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting.
E: This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

According Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but
many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory
that most professionals have the brains of a four-year-old.

Daily Dose 09-12-2008

"He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

-- Winston Churchill,

British PM during World War II

An Introduction to IPR & Patents

Hi Everybody!

I invite you to attend a 1.5 hour session entitled "IPR - Why and What?" to be led by Parvez Kudrolli (from the Intellectual Property Dept) on Wednesday, 10th Dec, 2008 from 2pm to 3.30pm.

IPR stands for Intellectual Property Rights such as Patents, Copyrights, Trademarks & Geographical Indications (GI).

Most of you would have heard about IPR & patents in the media and will be wondering what all the fuss is about. Some of you are worried that the western countries are stealing our traditional and modern knowledge & Intellectual Property and also that the multinational pharmaceutical companies are out to deny vital medicines to Indian patients by patenting everything. Some Indians are outraged that American companies are patenting Basmati Rice, Turmeric (Haldi) etc.!

So, if you have questions like, What is IPR / Patent? Should I be knowing more about IPR? How can IPR make a difference to my life, my work and my company? Where does India stand in this game?, and other such questions, this is your chance to ask and find out. This session will be interactive & fun and you can ask Parvez any question. No prior knowledge of IPR is required to participate.

Date: 10th December 2008

Time: 2.00 PM – 3.30 PM

Venue: Kensium Conference Room

I am sure all of you will take this opportunity and participate in this event.


Thank you,

Imtiaz A

Daily Dose 8-12-2008

“I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief.”
-- Gerry Spence

Happy Birthday Alvin!!!

Happy Birthday Alvin!!!

-: From :-
Team Kensium

Tambola (Bingo) Winners

Congratulations!!!

Tambola (Bingo) 1st Round Winners

Full House (1) - Mr. Alvin
Full House (2) - Mrs. Pavani
Full House (3) - Mr. K. Sudhkar
Early 5 - Mr. Saikumar Chettiar
Four Corners - Mr. Tajuddin Shiek
1st Row Full - Mr. M. Rakesh
2nd Row Full - Mr. K. Sudhakar
3rd Row Full - Mr. A. Chandrashekhar

Tambola (Bingo) 2nd Round Winners

Full House (1) - K. Ramesh Krishna
Full House (2) - Mr. B. Rama Krishna
Full House (3) - Mr. Rahul Gedupudi
Early 5 - Mr. B. Rama Krishna
1st Row Full - Mr. D. Sunil
2nd Row Full - Mr. A. Rama Mohan
3rd Row Full - Mr. B. Rama Krishna, Mrs. P. Madhuri

* * *

Welcome Speech: Mr. Pavez K
Anchors: Ms. A. Shashikala, Mr. D. Ajit

Daily Dose 6-12-2008

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself instead of a second-rate version of someone else.”
-- Judy Garland

Event of the Week - Tambola (Bingo)

This Saturday (6th December, 2008), we have arranged for an exciting game of Tambola (Bingo) which will be played on the floor when the clock strikes 12:00 noon at Kensium.

Tambola (Bingo) is a popular game among the social gathering. In order to play Tambola you need tickets for playing. You can play with as many tickets. Some random numbers will be shown on your ticket. When the number announced by the host, if it appears in your ticket, you have Tick off the box on your ticket, which entitle you for the prize.

Some of the prize in this categories are:

1) Early Five: If you happen to click the Early Five Boxes on your ticket fastest, then you can win prizes under this category.

2) Top Line: If you happen to be the first one to crack Top Line Eligible Boxes of your ticket, then you can win prizes under this category.

3) Middle Line: If you happen to be the first one to crack Middle Line Eligible Boxes of your ticket, then you can win prizes under this category.

4) Bottom Line: If you happen to be the first one to crack Bottom Line Eligible Boxes of your ticket, then you can win prizes under this category.

5) Full House: If you happen to be the first one to crack All Eligible Boxes of your Ticket, then you can win prizes under this category.

One Tambola ticket per person will be distributed for free. Additionally, every extra ticket will cost Rs 5/-. The best part is you buy tickets that are priced in a single digit & win prizes that are priced in 2 or 3 digits.

That’s all for now !!! Meet you people on the floor for the game of Tambola !!!

Kensium Team Events

For most of us, "Kensium Team Outing" is still fresh in our minds & from what I have heard, if an opportunity arises, we would like to go and indulge in similar type of activities again & again. However with our busy personal and professional lives, it is not possible for a lot of us. BUT, we can try to mix some FUN at work place & with work as well to compensate for the missed opportunities… you don’t believe me….hmmmm.. too bad, as we are about to prove you wrong!!!

Entertainment and Fun are a necessary part of our lives. All of us go through some kind of stress everyday and continuous stress drains out the energy and causes us to lose motivation, and may even affect our health. Having some sort of recreation or fun rejuvenates the entire system and also pumps in lost energy, and also assists in team building. So, let's have some fun events at work place!

Kensium will now have a team to fuel our spirits with these fun events on every 1st & 3rd Saturdays of the month from 12 noon onwards. Events will be conducted on the floor, where everyone will be an audience as well as a participant.

To share your thoughts & ideas, we have created a Kensium Blog site …you can post all your crazy thoughts & ideas. You can post anything you want on this blog… jokes, funny pictures, events, updates… anything that you want to share with Team Kensium!

http://kensium.blogspot.com/

Guys & Gals…We welcome your IDEAs about team games, fun games, simple games, simple games which can be played on the floor with minimum efforts. If you want to talk about anything interesting such as a team outing, team lunch or dinner or anything that has more of US & less of I, please share them with this team & we will have it as an event on one of the Saturdays. Please keep these posts professional, as this is a public site.

We have a task on hand ….got to have a name & a punch line for our team …please suggest suitable names & catchy punch lines on the blog… the name & punch line should reflect the spirit of Team Kensium…there will be a special prize for the person who’s suggested name or punch line will been picked!!

Meet you people on the floor for the fun games!!!

Daily Dose 5-12-2008

"The ink of a scholar is more sacred than blood of a martyr."
-- Muhammad

Daily Dose 4-12-2008

"I have learnt silence from the talkative,
tolerance from the intolerant,
and kindness from the unkind;
yet strangely, I am ungrateful to these teachers."
-- Khalil Gibran

Daily Dose 3-12-2008

"We see the world not as it is, but as we are."
-- Ken Keyes

***************

WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET

The realities of life result from many outside factors, none of which you can control.
Your attitude, however, reflects the way in which you evaluate what's happening to you.

It is not your situation,
it's your reaction to the situation that's important.
Things always seem to turn out best for those people who can make the best out of the way things turn out.

Life at any time can become difficult.
Life at any time can become easy.
It all depends upon how you adjust yourself to life.
You cannot always control your circumstances.
But you can always think positive thoughts.

There is nothing either good or bad,
only your thinking makes it so.

-- Unknown

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